Enought of nebulous "I was in the hospital" comments. I'm coming clean.
Around July of last year I developed terrible insomnia that led to depression because I just could not sleep -- I mean NO sleep -- and I was trying to meet the demands of a breast-fed infant. I was finally medicated for the insomnia and depression which meant, however, that I needed to stop breastfeeding. That was not the way we planned things and it hurt so very badly but I was about to come head on with a lot of things we didn't plan on.
So I muddled through for awhile and then in March of this year it really hit the fan. I couldn't take care of myself, I was crying all the time, I was afraid of my baby. So my doctor put me in the hospital not once, but twice, the second time for two weeks. The pain of leaving Theo for two weeks -- with him not knowing where I was -- was far more painful than any depression I was feeling. It was torture. Now I've been home for two months and while my condition has dramatically improved the doctor is still fiddling with different pills trying to make me whole again.
I live in fear that I will have to go to the hospital again. I'm better but I'm not. It's all very scary. I want to be a mom who walks around with confidence and assurance that she's always doing the right thing. Those moms are all over Whole Foods, I've found. I should stop shopping there.
I think you are doing a great job with Theo. You need to believe that. He looks great!
ReplyDeleteSending love to you.
ReplyDeleteUm, I've never been in a Whole Foods. So, put me in the I - really - don't - know - exactly - what - to - do - for - my - kids - but - I'll - try - my - best - to -make - them - happy - people category.
ReplyDeleteYou don"t want to hang with people who really think they're doing the right thing all the time. That's called being self righteous. Not helpful to kids!