It's not you, Kate. It's me.

It's not obvious, I know, why this picture makes me sad since it is a picture of two people I love so much. What's sad is how I felt the day this was taken. I hadn't slept in two days because I had developed insomnia. The insomnia was somehow linked to Theo's sleep -- I was so anxious he wouldn't sleep that I didn't sleep. After the two days of no sleep I went to the hospital ER. I know it sounds silly but what do you do when you are losing your mind from lack of sleep. Where do you go? Who treats that? The PA gave me an Ambien which I couldn't take because I was breastfeeding. Thanks. So began my (interminably) long journey through post partum depression. And I know that in the background, some where in that room, I am sad and scared while Kate holds Theo. That is why this picture kind of bums me out.

What a downer. Next post please.